More like the hurky-jurky of a six year old driving a stick shift, or what you might see should I clumsily attempt the human activity somewhat oddly named "dancing". I reserved the morning to accomplish one simple task: Unlock the Enhanced Driver's License achievement (25g). So I got to the webster DMV at 9:45, fifteen minutes before they opened. Apparently, they do not give out these mystical pieces of plastic. I had to go to "the main office." Because I guess location matters? So I did the shopping and looked it up: Oh look, it's right on Titus ave, ten minutes away from the other one. I guess that makes... sense? So I get over there. She asks to see my birth certificate. I hand her the document I have believed to be my birth certificate for the last 33 years. "Oh," she says in the manner of one superior to another, "This is just a certificate of registration." Apparently to "certify that a birth certificate has been filed". Uh, what? So I have this piece of paper that tells me another piece of paper exists? That's handy. 

So I am told to go to 111 Westfall Road to claim said mythic document, to prove I was born, because believe you me, I would believe a piece of paper over some guy saying "I was born." After all, my sister knows a guy who thinks he's Jesus. But he doesn't have a piece of paper telling that he is, so I can't just believe him.

So I get over there and think "what the heck all these black dudes hanging on the stoop for?" Thought maybe I was in the wrong place, but I parked around back and oddly enough there was the entrance, in back. Weird. So for $30 I got the piece of paper saying I had been born and went back all the way to Titus, it now being about 12:30. I got number 165, the current number being 142 with an "estimated wait time of 10 minutes." At 1:10 I finally got called. "Oh, she's just scanning them in now. Have a seat again and I'll call you back up." 

So finally I get the privilege of paying for my bit of plastic with my picture on it, and she asks if I want to renew. "No," I think, deep in my brain, "I want to go through all this again in seven months." (it expired March of next year) So my total bill for the privilege of traveling to Canada and back for a day and another 8 years of driving: $124.50 and a whole morning until 1:30. License to arrive in two weeks, as they are hand embossed in gold by Royal Dwarfs, who mined the gold themselves deep within Dragon Bone Mountain. 

 

Making me only about an hour late to my first appointment, but it was the mortgage place, so I knew they would be there. They wanted me to set up remote scanning on three laptops, but of course had no instruction on how to do so. I finally figured it out through trial and error, and promptly wrote it down because despite appearances I am not an idiot. I do have to go back, robbing me of the hour meant I couldn't set up a new system he bought, so I get to go back tomorrow.

 

Then over to the lady unable to type what I told her into a command prompt, five seconds of typing sorted her problem. 

Then home, checked my webpages, and went out to sound guy. His sound card apparently was unseated, I reseated it and it was fine again. Ate dinner. Did phone calls, booked 4 tomorrow, one the printer guy in Hilton who bought an $80 router off ebay which seems to not work wirelessly. He could have gotten a new one for that. Baka. Then one, then mortgage place, then one at 4:30. Fun!

 

Made some passable banana bread. I substituted wheat flower for 1 cup white and used artificial sweetener and one more banana. Not fantastic, but when I put it in my mouth I didn't say "This is not food." (Something you Mike Birbiglia fans might recognize)

 

So, looking forward to all the running around I get to do tomorrow, at least I might get paid for it.